


Lost in Translation

by AllThoseOtherWorlds



Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Gallifreyan, Gen, Gender-Neutral Pronouns, Including pronouns, Languages and Linguistics, Nonbinary Character, The Doctor speaks Gallifreyan, The TARDIS translates stuff for the Doctor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-14
Updated: 2015-08-14
Packaged: 2018-04-14 16:33:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,245
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4571688
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AllThoseOtherWorlds/pseuds/AllThoseOtherWorlds
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It isn't until the TARDIS translation circuit goes temporarily off-line that the Doctor realizes the TARDIS has been translation xyr pronouns. Cue an impromptu lesson on gender and pronouns with Clara over coffee.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Lost in Translation

**Author's Note:**

> I do not own Doctor Who. I do not make money from this.
> 
> I love the idea that the Doctor is really speaking Gallifreyan and the TARDIS is approximating the accent - because really, why would the Doctor be using Earth accents that vary with regeneration?
> 
> Also, the idea of the Physics Incident did not come from me, but I came across it so long ago that I don't remember who came up with it and can't give proper credit, so sorry about that. If it was you, let me know and I'll link the post.
> 
> Update: I found the post! The "Physics" thing comes from this post: http://allthoseotherworlds.tumblr.com/post/131893442454/orelseatlastsheunderstoodit-dr-who-forever

"Doctor?" Clara's voice echoed through the TARDIS. "Are you alright?"

The Doctor pulled xemself up from where xe'd been thrown against the TARDIS console and saw Clara standing in the doorway. "Yeah, I'm fine," xe told her. "TARDIS must have hit a bubble in the Time Vortex and had a sort of crash-thing. I don't think anything's broken, although..."  
  
Xe trailed off as xe realized that Clara's face held a look of confusion and uncertainty.  
  
"Doctor, are you sure you're okay?" she asked. "I don't know what you're saying."  
  
"Lovely," the Doctor said. "The translation circuits must be down."  
  
"That was" -Clara's face did the scrunchy-concentration thing- "Gallifreyan, then?"  
  
"Yeah," xe said. "You didn't think I spoke English all the time, did you? Nah. The TARDIS doesn't translate written Gallifreyan for security reasons or some such, but it does translate speech. 'Course, I do know tons of languages myself, obviously."  
  
Clara was looking considerably less confused, which the Doctor supposed was probably a good thing. "That why you're accent's all funny now?"  
  
Xe had to replay Clara's words before they made sense. Xyr accent was different? Right. Xyr accent _was_ different. "The TARDIS approximates my accent into something recognizable to Earth-people, I guess. It probably varies slightly from regeneration to regeneration, since auditory and speech processing would alter slightly. I didn't know she did that!" Xe turned to the TARDIS console and gave it a gentle pat. "Thanks, Dear."  
  
The TARDIS gave a lurch and Clara had to grab onto the wall to keep balanced. "Right," she said. "Before you got us distracted, I meant to ask you-" she turned to look at xem pointedly. "Are we crashing?"  
  
"Oh," the Doctor said, turning to look at the readout on the console. "Apparently we are, yes. I'll get right on that."

  
\---

  
Ten minutes, three close calls, and a banana later they were sitting in a cafe in Cardiff waiting for the TARDIS to recharge. The Doctor almost hoped to meet Jack there, but xe didn't think xe would. If Jack were around, all of xyr senses would be telling _xem_ not to be.  
  
"Good morning!" the waitress greeted them. "What can I get for you today?"  
  
"I'll just have a coffee, thanks," Clara said. She had eaten recently - just before the crash, in fact - but coffee was a good way to spend the time while they waited for the TARDIS to be ready for use.  
  
"And for him?" the waitress asked, turning to the Doctor, who was examining the glasses of water they'd been given and trying to trace their timelines just to keep up xyr practice in the skill.  
  
"Hmm?" xe asked, looking around. Xe didn't know anyone nearby who used he/him pronouns.  
  
"Doctor, what do you want?" Clara asked, sounding just a tiny bit impatient. That was impatience, right? Sometimes the Doctor had a hard time telling that one from exasperation or misplaced anger.  
  
"Tea," xe said, still slightly confused. "Cow-juice and sweetener on the side."  
  
"Cow-juice?" Clara said incredulously once the waitress had gone. "Really, Doctor?"  
  
"See if you remember every word in every language," the Doctor said defensively. "Besides, I was trying to figure out who the waitress was talking to, when it's just us at this table." Xe eyed it suspiciously. "Unless it's not just us." What sorts of creatures would be visible to Humans but not to Time Lords? Usually it was the other way 'round.  
  
"You, Doctor," Clara said. The Doctor blinked at her, suddenly diverted from xyr train of thought. "She was talking to you." Clara smiled and shook her head. "You really do need the TARDIS, don't you? You're all over the place without her."  
  
"No," the Doctor shook his head. "No, it's not that. She wasn't talking to me. She said he; why would she be talking to me?"  
  
"Uhh... 'Cause you're a bloke?" Clara guessed.  
  
The Doctor groaned and let xyr face fall into xyr hand. "Thanks, Dear," xe muttered under xyr breath. "We're going to have a talk about this when you're back to full power."  
  
Xe looked up to see Clara watching xem calmly, waiting for an explanation. Xe guessed she'd had her quota of confusion for the day.  
  
Xe sighed. "The TARDIS must have been translating people's language around me, without telling me, and so I think we have a few things to clear up. First," xe started, "I'm not a 'bloke'. I'm not 'male'. I'm not 'female'. I don't like people to use he/him. I prefer xe/xem, which is what the TARDIS has been translating things to."  
  
"You what?" Clara was looking a little confused now, but xe supposed it could have been worse. From what xe'd seen of humans in this time period, she could have been angry.  
  
"What?" xe asked. Xe'd explained xyr bit. If Clara wanted to know more, it was up to her to ask or find out on her own.  
  
So she asked. The Doctor ended up giving a bit of an impromptu lesson on gender identification, although Clara hadn't asked for and possibly didn't understand the bit on gender in some other species of interest. In the end, though, she seemed to get the important things.  
  
"But Doctor," she asked, "didn't you think it was just a little bit odd that I seemed to pick up on your pronouns right away? That everybody did? How were we to know?"  
"Call it a cultural difference," the Doctor told her. "we're all touch-telepaths on Gallifrey. Pronouns are usually one of the things you pick up."  
  
"But humans aren't telepathic," Clara pointed out.  
  
"Usually," the Doctor said. "Although I have met a few who'd surprise you - but never mind that. Yeah, I may have forgotten humans aren't telepathic. So sue me. You try keeping track of every little detail of other species and saving the world at the same time! I'm usually rather busy."  
  
"Okay, okay," Clara held up her hands in mock-surrender. "Well, I'll try to keep it all straight from now on, Doctor."  
  
"Thanks," xe said, just as the TARDIS key heated up, stinging xyr skin through xyr pocket.  
  
"Ah!" xe exclaimed. "And she's done! Let's be off, then."  
  
As they left the cafe and started back in the direction of the TARDIS, Clara spoke again.  
  
"Doctor?"  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"Are you speaking in Gallifreyan again? Now that the translation circuit's fixed?"  
  
"Sometimes, yeah," the Doctor said. "Why? Does that bother you?"  
  
"No," Clara told xem. "Not at all. Just wondering. What if you say something that doesn't translate? Most languages have untranslatable concepts and stuff, right?"  
  
"Sure," xe said. "I did that once, actually. I was teaching Physics to a High School class and I might have gotten a bit far on the temporal mechanics. The TARDIS just translated it all to 'Physics', poor thing. I didn't realize until four days later when the incident just popped back into my head for no reason at all."  
  
Clara laughed.

  
\---

  
Once xe was back in the TARDIS and Clara was off in her room doing - human things, probably - the Doctor leaned up against the TARDIS console and addressed the ship.  
  
"Dear?" xe said. "I appreciate the thought and all, but could you not change people's words when they're talking to me? At least, not unless I ask you to. There'll probably be a time when that could come in handy."  
  
The TARDIS hummed in agreement.  
  
"Thanks, Dear," xe said, patting the console.  
  
The TARDIS flew on.


End file.
